Beloved Radha


Wow! Did you feel that energy of Mercury going back direct? Holy crap! I feel like I have been going in a circle for a couple of weeks now-finding myself crying on the shoulder of a friend from childhood by asking him “What was I thinking coming up here where it is cold???” And by cold I meant not just cold in a sense of weather but cold in other ways as well. Change. Distance. Sadness. Cold.

The full moon was so releasing for me this weekend. It was a quick fix to my SAD moment. It was like a ton of bricks being removed from my shoulders. Moving through sensual dance and tribal fusion video instruction gave me a chance to dance for an hour spent in nothing but me time to intuitively bring me back into a grounded more sacred space. Anointing my chakra areas with scented oil revived and recharged me through sensual embodiment. Which really helps me to connect to the divine.

As well as reading about my favorite goddess in history Radha.

When Krishna came to Vraja as a young boy he became the playmate of Radha. Growing up she falls helplessly in love with Krishna; Who is now embodied with primal physical beauty, irresistible allure, and love to the opposite sex. He became so distracting to her that he became an addiction. This is similar to my story Ladyhawk’s Life as well. Was it ever. Holy fuckballs. She is my long lost soul sistah for sure.

She became so enamored with Krishna through the years that when it was time to become lovers they naturally did. This kind of man makes you forget about the book you are reading, the chore you are working on, sometimes even what day it is.

Everyone in the town comes to love him. All the local girls can’t help but fall helplessly in love with him. Even the old women treated him fondly with loving affection. His numerous lovers were very satisfied by his prowess in the lovemaking department as he was akin to being a God and we can only assume he was built.

Radha stands out from the other local girls and this is the one we mostly see embracing him lovingly with her hands, legs, body and eyes. Together they are the cosmic dancers, often pictures also show them laughing and free in their magical dance of love.


She stands out among his other lovers because she is his equal in loving ability and realness. In essence she becomes like the divine goddess to him. She focuses on the divine consciousness and she wants nothing more from him than his love and affections, which he gives to her generously. She is so seductive to him with her charm and her smiles. He can’t help but feel a sexual longing when away from her.

Her friends are all in love with Krishna themselves but do nothing to sabotage her offerings of love for him. They help prepare her for his meetings and often say to her “Maybe he will come tonight” to encourage her but when he doesn’t come she is once again heartbroken and the next time she sees him she is angry and pouty with him.

But just as easily she forgives him of his mischievous ways.


In the old tales they are the couple embracing the Harlequin Romance style of love.

He takes my clothes off
I lose my body
at his touch.

Their love becomes slightly masochistic for them as it has is its own wounding already built in. She loves him so much and embodies him as a God but he will never submit to monogamy or to only one lover. And even though he does love her deeply, he enjoys loving more women than just her and dallies with other females frequently. When he is with her she is in supreme bliss and when he is away from her she cries and wants to throw herself into the Ganges. She awakens divinity and love within everyone she meets and through this love the world becomes a better place for everyone that knows her. Lovers of the two consorts founded a goddess style devotion relating to Radha and Krishna worship of him. ISKCON.

The gopis (cow herd girls) speak of him and beg him for his love and he demands of them to stop what they are doing at once and come to him when the moon is right when they hear his flute playing in the forest. So one night they all hear his flute playing and come to him to dance beneath the moon with him.

As they dance- his flute is so enticing that their clothes come off and they are dancing naked beneath the moon with him. Like true divinity instead of being with every woman himself he multiplies himself so each personification of him can be with them proving god belongs to everyone. And as long as you don’t hold back he won’t hold back.


Yet a part of him can’t let Radha go. He can’t resist her. And she can’t resist him.        He feels the silent pull to be with her again and again. A part of him aches for her companionship, even when he is with other women, and the joy she brings to him when he is with her. As well as sexually pleasing him in a special loving way.

During the raslila-game of sport and delight (I like to call forest-orgy) with the gopis he disappears from them and is later found embracing Radha in a bed of flowers nearby. Her absolute love and desire for him awakens his love for her in return. It seems slightly masochistic (some would disagree but having lived similar I say yes) when her love for him hurts when he still refuses to be faithful to her. She simply can’t let him go and fall in love again. Something inside of her won’t let her. She becomes trapped by his love unable to think straight. Her heart aches then breaks time and again. The two can never marry due to their different stations in life and for all that is sacred they should not be together yet they are compelled to be with one another in spite of this difference as lovers and divine consorts that need to be near the other.

They are the couple of passionate longing, embracing, dancing, and then separation. Then reuniting with passion, tousled hair, entwined bodies, and sexual satisfaction.

Krishna goes on to become a King while Radha is destined to be left behind as a lonely peasant girl married to another man. Neither of them are ever truly happy afterward due to arranged marriages- as was the way in those days. But it was a business for parents.

As he leaves the two are devastated and he looks back lovingly at her and her at him embracing one another with their eyes. Then in a miracle he sees her everywhere he goes. “How is it that the entire world has become like Radha?” Her image follows him and keeps him awake at night with primal longing for her even years later as a king.
For the rest of her life she spends it in meditation and reflection on Krishna. In her desperation and heartache she sees Krishna everywhere. The whole world becomes her beloved. Everything in the world becomes the form of her loved one. Krishna.

When one day he asks a friend to find out how his friends are doing-especially Radha. Uddhava discovers without Krishna the women in the village have gone seemingly mad. They hug trees and ache with desire for him and roam around as if lost.

They have all become so love sick without him that they wandered through the forest shouting his name and repeating his name when selling items Etc.. Uddhava helps the women by teaching them yoga asanas and meditation to try to calm their spirits.

They represent the boy and girl next door. They are likable and palatable for me as well. Anyone that knows me and my story closely knows what I mean by this.

The cosmic dancers reinvent themselves over and over through history. Just in many different forms.

Radha Chalisa 1(1)


A great book on goddess worship is awakening Shakti by Sally Kempton which some of the story is from.

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